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Marriage

Love is blind, but . . .

"Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener." --Leonard Ravenhill
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com


If You Were Married to You

Let’s suppose that everyone on this planet is an absolutely identical clone of you. You all have the same preferences and opinions. Everyone thinks the same. Each individual sees from your viewpoint.

Now imagine—hypothetically, of course—that you are married to you. Would you have a perfect marriage? Would you ever argue with yourself? What if you both wanted the last piece of chicken? Suppose neither of you wanted to take out the trash. What if you were both in bad moods?

Yes, you would still have arguments with yourself if you were married to you. You would find out how difficult it can be to live with yourself. You might even ask yourself for a divorce!

(Kent Crockett, I Once Was Blind But Now I Squint, Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers, 2004, 7-8)



Perfect Pictures of Marriage

          Dr. Howard Hendricks has said people get married with a picture in their minds of a perfect marriage. Then after a few trials, they discover they aren't married to a perfect picture, but an imperfect person. When this realization occurs, they will either tear up the picture or they will tear up the person. (Kent Crockett, The 911 Handbook, Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 2003, 86)



The Maturity Factor

Females who wait until they are at least twenty years of age to marry are nearly four times more likely to stay married than those who exchange vows in their teens. Christian News Standard, October 2006, as cited in In Other Words.


The Reason Women Talk So Much

A husband was reading the newspaper and told his wife, "This article says that a woman speaks 30,000 words per day, while a man only speaks 15,000 words." 
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because a woman has to say everything twice."
The husband looked up from reading the newspaper and asked, "What?" 
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com


Quotes about Marriage

"The first miracle Jesus performed was at a wedding.  Jesus can still do a miracle with your wedding." --Kent Crockett
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com
 
Sign on marriage clerk's window: "Out to lunch.  Back at 1 o'clock.  Think it over."
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com
 
"Forgiveness is a repair kit for marriage, but good communication prevents the damage from happening." --Kent Crockett
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com
 
"The best marriage in the world is two servants in love.  The worst marriage in the world is two masters in love." --Jimmy Evans
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com
 
"The wedding ring is that small piece of jewelry placed on the finger that cuts off your circulation" --unknown
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com
 
"Show me 12 drunkards and I will show you 12 nagging wives." --Charles Spurgeon
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com
 
"A Prenuptial Agreement is a legal document that says, 'I love you almost as much as my money.'" --Gene Appel
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com
 
"Marriage is like a violin.  When the music stops, the strings are still attached." --unknown
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com
 
"The grass is always greener on the other side of the altar." --Dr. James Kennedy
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com
 
"Marriage can be heaven or hell.  It will be as much of heaven as there is God in it, and as much of hell as there is devil in it." --unknown
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com
 
"Two can live as cheaply as one--if one doesn't eat the other goes naked." --W. A. Criswell
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com
 
"Two can live as cheaply as one--but only for 1/2 a month." --unknown
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com


Changing Your Spouse

    A young bride-to-be was at the rehearsal for her wedding.  She was nervous and having a hard time remembering what she was supposed to do when she walked down the aisle. The minister said, “Relax, it’s not hard. First, all you need to do is slowly walk down the aisle.  Second, walk straight at the altar.  Third, when get to the altar, turn and look at him—your husband to be.  If you’ll just remember those 3 things, you’ll do just fine.”

    The next day, everyone was seated at the church and it was time for her to walk down the aisle.  As the organist played the Wedding March, she walked down the aisle saying out loud, “Aisle. . .altar. . .him.  Aisle. . .altar. . .him.  I’ll alter him!”

    Thousands of brides have walked down the aisle saying the same thing—“I’ll alter him.  I’ll change him!” 

Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com



Removing the Curse

A man had been under a curse for 30 years.  He walked for miles over rugged terrain and climbed a mountain to find a guru who could free him.  When he got to the top of the mountain, the guru asked, “Why have you come?”  He said, “I need for you to remove a curse that was placed on me.” 

 

The guru said, “I can remove the curse, but I must know the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.  What were they?”  The man answered, “The words were: ‘I now pronounce you husband and wife!’"

Kent Crockett’s Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com



After 50 Years of Marriage

A couple had been married for 50 years and a party was thrown for their golden anniversary.  The husband was very moved by the occasion and wanted to tell his wife how much he thought of her. She was hard of hearing, however, and often misunderstood what he said.  With family and friends gathered around, he toasted her and said, “My dear wife, after 50 years I’ve found you tried and true!” 

 

Everyone clapped for them, but his wife was a little irritated and asked, “What did you say?”  He spoke louder, “After 50 years, I’ve found you tried and true!” 

 

The wife was now visibly upset and shouted back, “Well, after 50 years I’m tired of you, too!” 

 

Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com

 


Comparing a Spouse With a Parent

A husband told his wife, "I wish you could bake bread like my Momma did."
His wife replied, "I wish you could bring home the dough like by Daddy did."
Don't compare your spouse with a parent because marriage means to leave your father and mother.
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com


Honeymoon Sandwich

 
Honeymoon Sandwich:  Just lettuce alone
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com
 


Cooking by Newlyweds

  • A couple sat down to eat their first meal as newlyweds. The wife said, "Today I learned how to make meat loaf and banana pudding."  The husband looked at his plate and said, "That's nice, Honey. Which one is this?"

 

  • A husband told his friend, "My wife doesn't know how to make pot roast, but she does know how to make roast pot!"

 

  • A newlywed husband posted a sign in his kitchen: "Duncan Hines wept here!"

 

  • Newlywed's recipe for toast: "Burn, then scrape"

Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations, www.kentcrockett.com

 


Cross Reference:

The Debate Team

Proactive vs. Reactive

Not Willing to Pay So Much

Golf & Marriage

Marrying For Money


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