Sermon Illustrations, Quotes, Stories and Analogies by Kent Crockett

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Baptism

When Can I Get Advertised?

A little boy asked Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church in California, "When can I get advertised?"

He meant "baptized" but he made the right point--baptism is advertising that you're a Christian.

Making Pickles

"You don't make a pickle by taking a cucumber and sprinkling a little vinegar over it. You immerse it." --Harold J. Seymour

Theological Definition of Baptism

A little boy was asked in Sunday School to explain baptism.

He said, "It's when the preacher holds you under water and you think about Jesus!"

Redneck Baptism

A man, a woman, and a redneck were scheduled to be baptized. The man was baptized first. When he came out of the water, he said, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want!"

Then the woman was baptized. She came out of the water and said, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"

Now it was the redneck's turn. He didn't know any verses from the Bible, so when he came out of the water he yelled, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Topics:
Ageing Alcohol Anger Arguing Assuming Atheists Attitude Baptism	Bible Bible Studies Bitterness Blaming Others Burn-Out Change Child-Rearing Children	Christmas Church Comfort Zones Communication Complaining Compromise Conscience Content	Counseling Coveting Criticism Death Debt Deception Decision-Making Depression
Determination Diets Discipleship Discontentment Discouragement Division Divorce Doubt	Eating Encouragement Enthusiasm Envy Evangelism Evolution Excellence Failure	Faith Faithfulness Fathers Fear Fellowship Fishing Fools Forgetting	Forgiven Forgiving Others Foundations Friends Giving Goals God's Will Golf
Gossip Grace Guidance Guilt Gullible Habits Happiness Hearing	Heart Heaven Hell Holiness Holy Spirit Honesty Humility Humor	Hurts Hypocrisy Integrity Intelligence Jesus Joy Judging Judgment Day	Kindness Knowledge Laziness Leadership Legalism Life Light Little Things
Lord's Supper Lords Supper Love for Others Lust Lying Marriage Mercy Mid-Life	Mistakes Money Mothers Motivation New Years Obedience Omniscience Opinions	Optimism Parenting Past Patience Peace Persecution Persistence Perspective	Pessimism Pleasing God Politics Prayer Preaching Predestination Preparation Pride
Priorities Problems Procrastination Quiet Time Quips and Quotes Rejection Relationships Repentance	Resurrection Romans 8:28 Salvation Satan Self-Control Self-Image Self-Worth Selfishness	Serving God Serving Others Sin Singing Spiritual Gifts Sports Stealing Stupidity	Submission Taxes Teenagers Temptation Thankfulness Thinking Time Tradition
Treasure Trials Trinity Trust Truth Understanding Unity Value	Vision Waiting Wisdom Work Worldly Worry Writing

Discover the Secrets of Changing Your Perspective in I Once Was Blind but Now I Squint

Find the solutions to 24 spiritual problems in The 911 Handbook. Includes a 26 Lesson study guide.

Why did God put you on Earth? Find out in Making Today Count for Eternity