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Found Under Stupidity

Actual Lines from Performance Appraisals

These are actual lines from performance appraisals:
1.Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
2.Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
3.A room temperature IQ.
4.Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
5.A gross ignoramus--144times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
6.A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
7.One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.
8.Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
9.Fell out of the family tree.
10.Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
11.Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
12.If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
13.If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
14.If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
15.If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
16.One neuron short of a synapse.
17.Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
18.Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
19.Chimney's clogged.
20.Forgot to pay his brain bill.
21.Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
1."I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
2."He has been working with glue too much."
3."He brings a lot of joy when he leaves the room."
4."When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations

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